Sunday, December 19, 2010

New Coat

This is my new coat. The Bastards bought me boots and socks too but there is no way that I am wearing those!! I will wear the coat.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Trick Knees

I have now hurt both my knees, I have what's called Luxating Patellas. The Bastards are taking care of me, I had an egg white flatbread, I am sleeping in a cushy blanket, and I am getting TONS of attention.

Dog Park Season has ended.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Mr. Fancy

I bought this, it's not rented.

Jumping Jack

I am from Mexico originally, so the only thing I enjoy about this time of year in New York is piles of leaves. I run through them, pee on them, then try to eat them.


Enemies are in disguise this month.

Monday, September 27, 2010

It's a Zoo in Here......

Meet Blue Hippo. I hope he gets along with Yellow Giraffe if not, then The Bastards will have to return him.
Be nice Blue Hippo.

Wet Dog

The only good thing about getting a bath is that I get to roll around in a towel afterward. Don't even try to take my towel away!!!

Is that a dog or a baby deer?

Hibernation is near.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Old Yelper

The Bastards had me all riled up and playing when..,.....YELP!!! I pulled a muscle in my leg. I am spending the week indoors healing. All gifts can be sent Care of Miles. I like meat, Egg White Flatbreads, and warm poop.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

First Birthday

July 11,2010

Dear Dunkin Donuts:

Yesterday was my first birthday. The Bastards bought me my own Egg White Flatbread. The Big Bastard ate my bread but I was able to eat the egg and cheese.........This is as good as it gets around here. I did not eat again until ten hours later. 364 more days left until the glory that is the Egg White Flatbread becomes mine again. Thank you Dunkin Donuts.

Dear Big Bastard:

You owe me one flatbread without the egg and cheese!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Boxed In

The Bastards got me a new Pee Box. They told me it was for dogs but I saw a picture of a cat on it. A cat!

Wait until they come home and find my pee everywhere but inside this box......did I mention it had a picture of a cat on it?

Note to Bastards*I AM A DOG!!!!!!!

Friday, June 25, 2010

The Hangover

I went to Yappy Hour last night and I woke up this morning with The Worst Hangover. I had to stay in my litter box all morning.......puking, diarrhea............

The Bastards had a LOT of cleaning up to do. That will teach them to let me eat and drink whatever I want.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Model Dog

This is the picture that will launch my career. This is my pretend-like-I-am-looking-at-something-far-away-face.

Monday, May 31, 2010

The Doggie Paddle

This is one of The Bastards trying to teach me swimming skills in a fountain. PS. Tail not wagging equals not happy!!!!!!

Stone Cold Enemy

The enemy was guarding this part of the sidewalk. He had a stone cold stare, straight ahead like a military psycho dog, trained to never leave his post. I approached with caution.......He never moved.

The Face of Happiness

Ben & Jerry meet Tan & Hairy

That's me! I went to Saratoga today to walk around. The Bastards thought it would be cute if I stuck my face in this thing.........Now I really look like a tourist.

Friday, April 23, 2010

I'm Legal You Piss Head.......Are You?

At the dog park today the Animal Control Guy decides to check around a bit. He was missing most of his teeth and smelled of beer and cigarettes. Before getting in his car he decided to take a pee right near his truck. PEEING IN THE PARK IS FOR DOGS ONLY!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Dog Days of Spring

The Bastards made me a legal user of the dog park now, I have been trespassing for months. This picture is of me at the dog park staring at the Big Dogs in the next cage.......they hate me. This harness makes me look ridiculous!!!! The Bastards picked it out........of course!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Day I Almost Died

It was yesterday at the dog park. The Bastards let me play with a Border Collie who thought I was food! I ran for my life and cried the whole time, finally one of The Bastards picked me up and we went home.

It all started out so good............

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Step Into Spring (Be Careful Where You Step)

The Bastards finally decided to take me out of the house. I went to a dog park, I ran around and LOVED it!!! I was desperate to get outside without the old Leash and Chain.

I let out a big poop without any hesitation and I didn't eat it (YAY ME) I wanted the other dogs to know that I own that park now. World Domination starts one poop at a time......Pee helps too.

I am tired.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Going on Vacation

No not me. One of The Bastards is leaving on a vacation. He has some days off before he leaves but I will probably still be stuck in the kitchen. Maybe I will pee on the refrigerator again, or maybe the stove. He will have to clean up my pee, who's The Bitch now?

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Where Have You Been?

This is what I have been hearing from everyone. Thanks for your interest in my house-bound life. One of The Bastards started a new job and has not had time to do much of anything. Although, I actually left the house this weekend to run around another persons house. I was tired.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Red Light District

Sometimes this red dot shows up and I run back and forth trying to catch it but it's not happening. I think the red dot has magic powers. Does anyone know where it comes from?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Highs and Lows

So, these Bastards that I live with got the electric bill this week and guess whos heater has been turned down? Yup, thats right...ME!!!!!! So I decided to be bad again, I peed on the curtains right after they were washed, I ate poop, and I ripped up my pee pad. Bring it on Bastards, I will show you who runs this house.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Busy Times

Sorry you have not heard from me in a while I was recuperating from surgery and just hanging around the house. Its been an uneventful new year so far. The Bitch does not interest me too much anymore. I am especially fond of playing with a long piece of string now. When new things happen I will let you know but for now I am just trying to stay out of trouble.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy 2010

I was up all night chasing my tail and giving beat downs. I am wrecked. Spending the day relaxing.


Dear Reader;


Pleadingly Yours,
The Reindeer